One Month

Men.

Best and worst thing about life, without a doubt. Flying high - there's nothing I can't do or nothing I can't be OR crashing face first into the ground in the pouring rain - oh kill me now and be done with it.

It gets to the point in every relationship where you have to decide if it's worth all the little troubles to keep going. Do I cut my losses, take a little pain, and get out while I can? Or do I wait it out and see if it gets better?

Big question for me is why the hell do I always end up with the most fucked up relationships?? Why for once can I not just get a nice normal guy??? WHY??!! Seriously though, I haven't dated anyone in the last 2 years who hasn't turned out to be a commitment freak, a sex freak, an emotional freak, an obsessive freak or just a freak in general.

Two years ago - went out with a failed rugby player for 8 or 9 months. He could bench press a house but he couldn't run ten yards to save his life. Started out really well, we had an alright relationship but of course as all guys do he tried to tilt the scales his way and it got to the point (my fault really) where I had a text on my phone asking me if I wanted to come over for sex because his parents were away for the night. A bit of gravitas please?? I mean, where is the love?? So I ended that, with some heartache on my part it must be said. I did fall for him a bit... So he went off to Harvard there in October to do some research and has just returned home and is trying to worm his way back in, I'll explain about that later... Music that reminds me of him - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPB3c6E7p44 we used to listen to is when we were studying for summer exams. Right about this time of year actually...

Year and a bit ago - went out with a complete potato head for a couple months. That was actually mostly good fun. He ended it with me however because I tried to insist on a bit more effort on his part on the communications front. A week without trying to contact me is NOT normal. He really got me into Christy Moore though -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5fBppsntAE. Trad Irish music is cool I swear!! And oh yeah, he's in my feckin' class. Pain in the hole or what?!

November of last year - dated a guy from the class ahead of me. SO SO cute, really fit, played football, had great fashion sense (should have known from that) and was really attentive etc. Now he didn't turn out to be gay or anything but MY God he started getting way too into me for the short amount of time we were seeing each other (two weeks?!) Literally texts every hour asking me to go for coffee breaks. I ended that one in a bloody hurry. He did have savage music taste though -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DITsd0u06WQ.

So yeah I've had my fair share of weirdos over the years. Best I can say for them is they liked good music ;) Good job boys!

HOWEVER this guy I'm with now is different. We've been going out now for nearly 3 months and I hope I'm not jinxing it by saying this but it's been mostly perfect... I mean not perfect of course but anything that's gone wrong has been for a reason. Like even though he was busy, he got me the most thoughtful birthday presents. Like I actually think he listens and CARES when I shite on about stuff I like!

He's been unbelievably busy with work recently though and I haven't seen him a whole lot. And I don't think it's going to get any better for another month or so. I'm having a hard time with that. It's a big part of why I started this really! Can't complain to him all the time about it because he is genuinely busy and he is doing his best to keep in touch. Just so hard to be okay with not seeing him when all I want round exam time is to be with him. So I get to complain about it to a computer, it's great!! And maybe a few random strangers, though with the length of this entry I'd be surprised if anyone is reading it. I sure as hell wouldn't.

So in conclusion :) instead of pushing this beautiful man to the point of running a mile in the other direction or getting so pissed off by over-thinking it that I end it myself, I'm going to wait. Apart from the fact that his absence from my life at the moment is for a good reason, he is so worth it. He's probably one of the nicest, funniest guys I've ever met. When I'm with him nothing else matters. I'm simply happy to be. That doesn't happen all that often for anyone so I'm going to wait. Hopefully this summer turns out to be a sunny one. I'm sure looking forward to it.

One month? I can do that, piece of piss!! Watch this space... :)